Richard’s Bench

In 2022, my son, Richard, turned 30. He had been in heaven six years by this time but that didn’t stop me from celebrating his birthday as I always did. I had decided to purchase a park bench for Richard and reached out to Lake Forest’s parks supervisor only to learn that his name was also Richard. We giggled about that—my Richard would have loved the coincidence.—then we arranged to meet and choose the perfect location in Triangle Park to place the bench. When the parks supervisors showed up, he told me that his son’s name was also Richard. Not a coincidence, after all. A message from my beautiful boy.

Triangle Park, a mini respite of greenery, sits at Washington and Walnut roads in Lake Forest, not far from a neighborhood we once lived in. It was Richard’s favorite park, an oasis known for a bronze deer statue decorated to compliment the seasons. We decided to establish the bench at the edge of the grass where the sidewalk meets, a location that offers perfect sun and shade. 

Richard’s Bench has become a place for community members to sit, have coffee, visit with a friend, or meditate. A pre-school teacher walks her class two blocks every Fall to take their class photo. People have taken selfies with the plaque that lists Richard’s birth and death year and a “Thanks for the nudges. Love, Mom” message from me. Others have left notes on the bench. One said: “24 years old is way too young. He was gone too soon.” Another note: “Enjoying the love between a mother and a son today.”

The gift of a place to gather, reflect, heal, and find hope is priceless.